Primary Blog/Mentorship/How to Connect With and Serve People Who Genuinely Want What You Have to Offer

How to Connect With and Serve People Who Genuinely Want What You Have to Offer

Enoch Leffingwell

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

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How to Connect With and Serve People Who Genuinely Want What You Have to Offer

The First Step to Changing Your Future For The Better

As an entrepreneur, you know you have a calling in life, a mission, and that you have tremendous value to offer.

But do you find that the people in your life often don’t recognize your value or encourage you to pursue your calling?

How would you like to be surrounded with people who celebrate your gifts, rather than put up with them?

What would it be like if your peer group was made up of people who encourage you to flourish?

If you’d like to learn some simple steps you can do to pick peers that will help you succeed, then keep reading.

1. Picking Purposeful and Profitable Peers

Consider where each relationship is taking you. Ask yourself, "Where do I want to be five or ten years from now?" Because show me your friends and I will show you your future.

It would be in your best interest to reduce the time you spend with those who cannot see and receive the value you have to offer. Now, it's okay to have casual friends as long as you spend casual time with them.

Sometimes it's not about eliminating certain people from your life entirely but merely limiting your time with them. Ultimately, you are the judge of who you’re going to decrease association with.

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Me in a room of profitable peers.

Your associations influence and affect the direction you want to go in life and what you believe God is calling you to do.

Sometimes people say, “well, my peer group is my family, and those are the people I associate the most with.” I say, “your peer group is NOT your family.” You are to love your family but pick your profitable peers.

When it comes to those you spend the most time with, I have learned that it is good to be very intentional about choosing people who will sow seeds into my life that will influence my focus and steps.

Even Jesus picked his peer groups.

Sometimes you will have to decrease your time with certain family members because of the background, the toxicity, or simply because you are not on the same page anymore. You are headed in different directions.

I had a cousin who was my best friend for years, but every time we were together, we got into serious trouble. Every time I was around him, we had problems, so I had to decrease the time I spent with him. Do I still see him? Yes. When he wants to get his life right, he'll call me and ask for counsel or prayer, and I'll be there. I have no interest in attending parties, doing drugs, or doing what we used to do.

2. Peer Picking Principles

Jesus picked his peers, chose his disciples, and was very selective about who he spent the most time with. He had what I like to call an “inner circle.”

He was a friend of politicians and senators, and when he was invited to the feasts, he was not a hermit.

As he spoke to His disciples, one of them said, "Hey, your mother and your brother, they're outside the door; they’ve come to speak to you,” to which he said, "Well, I'm doing my ministry."

The disciples told him that his mother and brother were looking for him. They were trying to pull out the family card as if to say, “Hey, because I'm your family, I demand your time. Stop what you're doing, and give me the attention I want.”

Jesus responded with something very fascinating;

“..He answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!

For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.” Mark 3:33-35

Jesus showed the power of environment, the power of picking your peer group with higher standards and higher expectations of living.

Jesus also says, "A prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house." (See Matthew 13:57)

That means family, the people of your own house. For most of His life, Jesus’ own brothers didn't discern his gifts. Not all of his family members were supportive of what he was doing. They wanted him to be like the Pharisees and go to the schools of the rabbis.

Why did he refuse to go along with what the majority was doing? Jesus understood his calling; he understood his mission.

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The clearer you are on your mission, the more you can pick profitable peers that will support and encourage you.

There are some people you can serve, some you can inspire, and others you could flourish with, while there are some people you could try to serve, and it's like trying to take an arm and a leg. Sometimes it feels like you're pulling teeth, and there's much resistance. They're not ripe, ready, or interested, and they do not want to be.

3. Go Where Your Gifts Are Celebrated

Don’t go where you are tolerated; go instead where your gifts are celebrated. If you haven't heard this before, I want to gift you with this realization that changed my life: There are environments and communities where your gifts are not just tolerated or put up with. You know, the ones where you're “that person” in the family? You can go where your gifts are celebrated, where you are not just welcomed but desired. You can create or connect with communities where people genuinely desire to be around you.

When picking your profitable peer group, you choose the environments you can serve in the most. This is a powerful concept to realize, which will aid you in decreasing your association.

Have you ever noticed that when you start speaking about success or giving presentations about prosperity in the biblical sense, it repels poverty preachers and people with poverty programming?

When I say prosperity, I'm not talking about the prosperity gospel. I'm talking about the Biblical word prosperity in God's word that we read about in places like Isaiah 55:11, Psalms 1:1-3, Joshua 1:8, etc. The scripture states that God’s Word will cause prosperity. People who speak of success repel people who identify themselves with failure.

4. Your Message Determines Your Audience

If you have a PC and a Mac, and you try to install Windows software on a macOS, it will reject the programming. In the same way, when you try to install success software in a failure operating system, it gets rejected.

In like manner, your message determines your audience.

Likewise, when you preach poverty or a scarcity mindset, limited thinking repels those who are abundant-minded. People who believe and identify with Christ are more than conquerors; they are overcomers. They are successful because God's word is the principle that produces prosperity, as Joshua 1:8 says.

When people start saying you can't do something or start giving all these limiting beliefs of what you can't do or what is impossible, they begin criticizing possibilities, plans, and visions. Those who understand the principles of success and God's word don't hear it. They say, okay, I do not resonate with that.

I remember there was a time when I was given a new leadership role I had never had before. I knew it was time to seek counsel from the people who had gone before me, and I thought, “who can I call that has done this responsibility before?”

I remember making some calls with some leaders who could potentially mentor me. I talked to one, and I said, ”Hey, I have this team, we're doing something different, and I'm trying to figure out how we can involve people in the team to move forward.”

They said to me, “You know, we don't have ambitious goals, me and my team. We don't have much; we just come together. Sometimes, a goal is discussed, but no one follows through. We don't do those kinds of things. We just kind of maintain and keep going.”

I loved them as a friend, but as I listened, I just knew that this was not someone I wanted to take advice from. As far as taking advice or listening to counsel, I realized that if I accepted the seeds being sowed, I would bear the fruit they were bearing. That was not the fruit I would be satisfied with. In that sense, what I heard was repulsive.

You want to surround yourself with abundant thinkers. People who speak only words of encouragement and empowerment, people who are used to service, contribution, and growth, and speak very practical things.

It is difficult to hear other people being ungrateful, backbiting, complaining, criticizing others, and spewing out scarcity. It's painful to the ears.

I associate with people who I encourage and call to a higher standard, and with people who call me to a higher standard.


  • There's a difference between those with a poverty mindset programming, who are unwilling and not seeking transformation, and some who are seeking change but haven't had the opportunity. You want to be a friend to those individuals. You want to follow the leaders. You want to be a peer to your peers, be a leader to those behind you, and pull them up just as others are pulling you up.
  • I realize it is hard to connect on a deep level or associate with people who have a poverty mindset versus someone who has a wealthy, abundant mindset. Poverty preaching repels people who are affluent or wealthy.
  • The way you speak to the wealthy is different from how you speak to the poor; they're wired differently. They're looking for different things, and the sooner you recognize these principles, the better your life will be.
  • ​Spending time majoring in minor things is an easy way to end up with a mediocre and average life…

If you would like to learn how to surround yourself with a circle of peers who are abundant thinkers, with mentors who can show you the way on your entrepreneurial journey, then get yourself a copy of my #1 Bestselling Book "I Want a Mentor, Now What Do I Do?" available at

Who Is Enoch Leffingwell?

An entrepreneur since he was 10 years old, and being fascinated with internet marketing since he was 12, Enoch now teaches health authors, coaches, speakers, and other health entrepreneurs how to get paid a premium for their health advice by helping them to create premium coaching programs.

PO Box 1704
Lewiston, ID 83501